A Church Endures 'Earthquake' of Child's Loss and Finds Solid Ground of Faith

Last Sunday, the parents of Annabella "Bella" Loerop celebrated Mother's Day at their Orland Park church, beaming as their 4-year-old performed with other youngsters for the congregation. 

On Monday, in the words of their clergy, the Loerop family found that "the ground gave way beneath them" when their daughter's life ended suddenly in a traffic accident in Tinley Park. .

On Friday, mother Tanya Loerop and father John, carrying young son Joey in his arms, steadfastly walked the aisle at , to say goodbye to Bella, surrounded by family, friends and their home congregation.

Earlier, the organist had softly played Jesus Loves the Little Children as the people sat quietly in the pews, many reading the memorial service bulletin titled with the simple message: "Annabella Renee Loerop, Sunrise: August 26, 2006. Sunset: May 9, 2011."

Above the raised dais, two screens displayed a picture of a smiling Bella with the text of Matthew 19:14: "Let the little children come unto me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Outside, the quiet church parking lot at 7500 Sycamore Drive was crowded with cars, many with Wisconsin plates. In the ladies' room, a woman wept, then carefully dried her eyes, and walked out to rejoin her family.

As the memorial began in the stilled church, eyes turned toward the podium, surrounded by heaps of floral arrangements, and Psalm 46 was read: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea ..."

Next, congregants watched Be (Still and Know That I Am God) a video by artist Peder Eide, a contemporary Christian musician who has written about losing his mother at age 14 in a car accident.

"Be still and know that I am God...be still and know...though mountains fall, the earth give way ..."

An 'Earthquake' of Grief

Ministers and congregations are not immune from the monumental shockwaves that accompany a child's death, Pastor Marshall Holtvluwer told the mourners.

He recalled his own disbelief upon learning of the deadly accident.

"I was in the car with my daughter, and pastor Gerry told me, there's been an accident." 

Holtvluwer rushed to the hospital, and comforted the family, who had gathered in a room by Bella's side.  

"All I could do was hold them," he told the congregation. "In this trying time, just hold onto them. I think that's what Jesus wants to do."

The unexpected nature of Annabella Loerop's death added to the shock, said Senior Pastor Gerald "Gerry" R. Erffmeyer.

"Nobody expected that Monday would come, the kind of Monday that we've had," he said. Erffmeyer admitted that initially, he found himself thinking, "if only."

"If only it had been pouring rain that day, Bella would have been inside," he said, recalling Monday's inviting warm weather. 

Yet ultimately, repeatedly thinking "if only" is an exercise that brings no peace, suggested the minister, pointing the congregation toward the text of Psalms 139:16: "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

"Why does this happen? (God) plans our life, and his plans are always good. We are surprised, God is not," said Erffmeyer. Yet, he said, "it's alright to cry, it's alright to be sad, it's alright to ask God, 'why?"

The pastor spoke movingly of the Loerops' great desire to have children, their pain when initially they were told their unborn child suffered from Down's Syndrome, their relief when Annabella was born healthy. 

He described them as a family who had  previously "felt the ground move beneath their feet" and survived great trials, of parents who had never taken their cherished children for granted.

Before the grieving family, he evoked the memory of an earlier, ground-shaking loss, when Tanya Hilbelink-Loerop lost her 16-year-old sister Becky Lynn Hilbelink, in a car accident. Boldly, the minister urged the family and congregation to draw upon their Christian faith in the immortality of the soul and imagine Bella in heaven with her aunt.

A Little Princess

The ministers talked about the dandelion bouquet featured at Bella's funeral reception, a tribute which evoked happy memories of a little girl who gathered these "flowers" for her doting grandmother. Bella was described as a child who delighted in acquiring new words, like "camouflage," and trying out her newfound vocabulary on school rides home with her mother. 

She was remembered as a little girl who loved to dress up as a princess, with younger brother Joey as the prince.

Near the end of the service, a slideshow showcased Bella's brief life while the popular Christian children's song, Jesus, I Heard You Had a Big House played over the changing images: Bella as an infant, dressed in a white onesie with the word 'Miracle' on the front; Bella with her brother Joey; playing with her American Girl doll; Bella dancing.

In the end,  Erffmeyer reminded the congregation of their own mortality, commenting, "we realize we don't know the day our death will come, but it will come."

He led them in a prayer of rededication, and blessed them.