Old Lady Kicks the Shin Out of Car Dealer Service Rep: OMGPD

OMGPD, a collection of Patch Chicago's weird and noteworthy crime, posts weekly.

I See a Bad Knee Rising: A Mercedes dealership service adviser says a 73-year-old woman who didn't like the quoted price for work on her car cursed him and kicked him in the shin, leaving a red welt. The accused shin kicker told cops the man berated her and told her to leave the dealership, then her "bad knee" just did what bad knees do in those situations and it wasn't her fault. Bad knee, bad, bad knee.
via Palos Patch

Higher Education: Police found an Elmhurst College student writhing on the ground in the late morning of a recent weekday. Apparently enrolled in "Remedial Cheech and Chong Studies," the student told the officers he was "dizzy and his body hurt because of marijuana." Other than that, cops could make no sense out of what little else he was able to utter.
via Elmhurst Patch

Unwearables: A Boston-area woman photographed wearing $2,500 in jewelry recently stolen from her boss was tripped up and arrested by Lake Forest Police when her boss saw her photo online.
via Lake Forest Patch

Blade Bummer: A man carrying a large red sack was banned from all Walgreens stores after a Downers Grove store manager recognized him as a repeat shoplifter. When the manager told him to leave, the man dropped the bag, and there arose such a clatter, for the sack was stuffed with disposable razors. The man, with dancing blue eyes and a snowy white beard, promptly disappeared. (OK, we made that last part up. He did have a neck tattoo and a nose piercing, however.)
via Downers Grove Patch

Well-Seasoned and Healthy Shoplifting: An elderly couple were spied opening spice jars and emptying the contents into their pockets, along with bottles of pricey vitamins, at the Whole Foods in Orland Park. The price tag for their ill-gotten goods was close to $200. (Who's robbing who here anyway?)
via Orland Park Patch

With Friends Like This: It wasn't a happy spin on Carousel Drive for a Glenview resident who hosted a small gathering of friends on April 20 only to discover a party-goer walked away with $8,000 in hundred-dollar bills from the house.
via Glenview Patch

Lost and Found: A sleepy woman who had "not so much" to drink was awakened by police as she sat in her car in an Orland Park intersection. Asked where she was, the woman said she "knew she was in Channahon." She seemed surprised to hear she was actually 30 miles away, in Orland Park.
via Orland Park Patch

Also on Patch

• Thief Takes Exotic Animal Shelter's Only Tractor
• Skeleton Found Near Lemont in 1978 Cold Case Finally Identified
• Hoarder Fills House With Gas After Spending Night With Dead Brother: Cops
• Elmhurst Woman Finds Portillo's Bag Full of Ketchup & Dirty, Insulting Note on Doorstep: Police
• Former Lake Forest High Staffer Pleads Guilty to Sex Abuse of Students

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