Add a Punchline to Our Cubs, Sox Island Cartoon

If you've got wit, add your punchline to Patch's weekly comic and win a personalized print.

Are you blessed with insight and good humor? Or just bored today? Share your wit with your south suburban neighbors by entering Patch's comic caption challenge. Just add your dialogue for today's comic in the comment section of this post. Our only requirement is that you keep it clean! At week's end, we'll pick the winning punchline based on how many of us here at Patch giggle and smile at your contribution. The user who produces the winning punchline will get a personalized proof of the comic, with the winning words and a credit line, from cartoonist Chuck Ingwersen and Patch. Congratulations to Lady Eagles #1 Fan with the winning caption to last week's Dog Interview cartoon:  I appreciate you allowing me to interview again. I hope you …

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Sunday Comics

Sunday Comic: Hawk Harrelson Walks His Dog

Is the White Sox broadcaster's pooch as confused as the rest of us? Put it on the board … YES!

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Add the Punchline to Our White Sox and Cubs Cartoon

If you've got wit, add your punchline to Patch's weekly comic and win a personalized print.

Are you blessed with insight and good humor? Or just bored today? Share your wit with your south suburban neighbors by entering Patch's comic caption challenge. Just add your dialogue for today's comic in the comment section of this post. Our only requirement is that you keep it clean! At week's end, we'll pick the winning punchline based on how many of us here at Patch giggle and smile at your contribution. The user who produces the winning punchline will get a personalized proof of the comic, with the winning words and a credit line, from cartoonist Chuck Ingwersen and Patch. Congratulations to Heath Faubel, who provided the winning punchline to last week's squirrel comic: I was hoping these Groucho Marx glasses would cure my double …

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Southland Stories

If You Love the White Sox, You'll Enjoy This Story

Minnie Minoso's bat boy, a sex offender calls church home, a killer avoids the needle, angry parents protest school consolidation and a local woman ends up on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Get a "Good Read on the Southland.

We've got the five most interesting stories in the south suburbs. If you read nothing else, read these. 1. Sox Memories to Envy: Imagine Billy Pierce checking your homework. Shaking Minnie Minoso's hand at home plate. Getting a standing ovation of your own in the White Sox clubhouse. Tom DePasquale, the longtime voice of the games at Rich Central High, doesn't need to imagine. He lived it as a White Sox batboy. 2. Homeless Sex Criminal Allowed to Register Church as His Residence: A local homeless shelter defends the decision to let a sex offender fulfill his registry requirement by saying the Oak Lawn church used for shelter is his home address. 3. Governor Commutes Paul Runge's Death Sentence to Life in Prison: Oak Forest native Paul …

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VIDEO: Ozzie Guillen to Students, ‘School is Your Job’

The White Sox manager spoke at High Point Elementary on Friday about not taking shortcuts, how he really feels about Jim Thome and the benefit of keeping TVs out of the bedroom.

Ozzie Guillen says he remembers when Midway Airport had one runway. The White Sox manager also recalls growing up in Venezuela with only one TV in the entire town. Once a week, the boys in his hometown of Ocumare del Tuy would watch wrestling on Saturdays. While Guillen's success in baseball now allows for several TVs in his home, he has decided to keep TVs and computers out of his children's bedrooms. "You have distance from family then," Guillen said, referring to when family members isolate themselves by watching TV and or using a computer. "You sit there in the room for hours and hours and hours. You don't enjoy going out, don't enjoy being with your parents. Always busy." Guillen's glib and direct use of words gets attention — almost …

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Sox Savvy

Sox Swan Songs for Paulie, A.J. and Bobby?

The White Sox closed the book on a 2010 season that essentially ended many weeks ago. Next comes an offseason that's rife with crucial questions.

In saying goodbye to the 2010 White Sox on Sunday, did Sox fans say goodbye for good to Paul Konerko, A.J. Pierzynski and Bobby Jenks? My guess — and my hope — is no, no and yes, respectively. Before the Sox beat Cleveland 6-5 to finish the season 88-74 and give Ozzie Guillen his 600th victory as manager, Kenny Williams praised Konerko for being "the classiest player that has put on a uniform." The Sox made a classy move of their own by sending Konerko out to the field alone  before the first pitch, allowing the crowd to give him one of several ovations he would receive on this melancholy day. There will, of course, be eager bidders for the services of Konerko, who hit .319 with 39 home runs and 111 RBI this season. And there's no doubt …

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Sox Star Alexei Ramirez Hits Town

A week after canceling a scheduled appearance, White Sox shortstop Alexei Ramirez comes to Tinley Park to meet fans and sign autographs.

Mark Straczek didn't know whether to blame csac.biz or thank them. The website, the go-to spot for Chicago-area autograph collectors like Straczek, didn't feature White Sox star Alexei Ramirez's Saturday morning appearance at Tinley Park's Bettenhausen Dodge. It meant the hundreds of autograph hunters who would normally clamor for a signature from "The Cuban Missile" didn't know to go to the downtown dealership. It also meant Straczek, who drove from Crystal Lake for the signature, got more time with Ramirez than he normally would. Bettenhausen held a similar signing last week with the Sox's John Danks at their Orland Park dealership. "With Danks, you had like two seconds with him and you were gone," Straczek said, adding that Ramirez is a…

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Sox Savvy

Why the Sox Aren't the Twins

As Minnesota swept away any remaining hopes for a playoff spot, Sox fans are left to ponder how it all went wrong.

Now that the Twins' open-air production of "Who's the Boss?" has ended its three-night run at the Cell, the Sox can begin sifting through the debris. Check that. The Sox still have some baseball games to play, as mandated by the MLB rulebook. So for now, it's up to the fandom to play the game of "Where did it all go wrong?" (No fair blaming everything on Joe West. Leave that for Hawk to do.) The better question is: Why are the Twins so much better than the Sox? It's a question that's been asked frequently in recent years. It's a question Ozzie Guillen desperately tried to answer before this season began. Didn't Ozzie try to shape the 2010 White Sox into something more Twins-like? There was the emphasis on speed and fundamentals, on …

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Chuck Ingwersen

11:43 pm on Sunday, September 19, 2010

Excellent point, Dan. I'm sure the Twins would trade all those playoff exits for a World Series title, too. Just like the Indians teams of the 1990s that won five straight AL Central titles but came away with no World Series rings.   more ›

BREAKING: White Sox's "Cuban Missile" Reschedules Canceled Tinley Park Signing

After canceling a planned signing at Tinley Park's Bettenhausen Dodge last Saturday, Sox shortstop Alexei Ramirez reschedules for Sept. 18.

Bettenhausen Dodge spent Wednesday calling Sox fans who had waited in vain for shortstop Alexei Ramirez last Saturday, telling them the player known as "The Cuban Missile" had rescheduled for Sept. 18. The calls told thwarted Sox fans that Ramirez would be signing from 9 to 11 a.m. Saturday, Sept. 18 at the dealership at 17514 S. Oak Park Ave. The calls advised fans show up by 8 a.m. to ensure their place in line. Ramirez, a 6' 2'', 28-year-old from Cuba, had canceled a planned signing at the dealership on Saturday, Sept. 11, citing a family emergency. Sox pitcher John Danks went through with a planned signing at the Bettenhausen Chrysler Jeep dealership in Orland Park that same day. The calls said Danks stayed at the location for about …

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Sox Savvy

Twins Bring the Truth to Town

As the Sox lose the first game of the must-win series, even the staunchest optimists are losing hope.

In other news, the Cubs were mathematically eliminated from playoff contention Tuesday night. Well, I tried. But even that doesn't lessen the sting of the clear and present truth: The 2010 Minnesota Twins are a better team than the 2010 White Sox.  With the Twins' 9-3 victory at the Cell on Tuesday night, the Sox have fallen to seven games out of first with 18 left to play. An optimist might say that Sox victories Wednesday and Thursday would keep hope alive, but an optometrist would say, "Have your eyes examined." The sad fact is the Twins haven't blinked. Instead, they've dominated the Sox every which way this season, winning 11 of the 16 meetings. Tuesday night it was an ugly unraveling by the Sox that made the difference — from John …

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