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7 of the Strangest Southland Crimes of 2013

Accidental pot brownies, polite nude man and granny's Tupperware stash featured in our look back at weird police reports.

This past year had a little bit of the odd, the weird and the criminally stupid. As Patch looks back at 2013, we pause and peek at the craziness recounted in local police reports and published on sites across the Southland.


1) BAKED BROWNIE: An unsuspecting maid ate a special brownie while cleaning up after an Orland Park house party. The 57-year-old housekeeper was hospitalized but was unhurt after eating a marijuana-laced brownie. Two Orland Park men who threw the party initially denied that a Tupperware full of the dessert was laced despite the baked good having a strong smell of weed. The maid refused to press charges on the pair, who ultimately were ticketed for reckless conduct.

2) DOOR-TO-DOOR NAKEDMAN: A polite nude stranger who paid a visit to a Tinley Park apartment apologized to a surprised woman before walking away. This happened in July, when a startled 20-year-old New Lenox woman told police the naked man muttered “Oh, I am sorry” and departed after strolling into the apartment without warning.

3) RING OF TRUTH? A married woman told cops her $10,000 wedding ring disappeared while shaking hands at the movies. The Lynwood woman noticed her 3-carat diamond ring was gone following a conversation with a man at a Chicago Heights movie theater. The ring reportedly was stolen from under both her and her husband’s noses as they chatted with a Homewood man. The alleged handshaker, who emptied his pockets when confronted about the ring, denied clasping hands with the woman.

4) A GRAND EXCUSE: An Oak Lawn teen accused of keeping flecks of marijuana in Tupperware claimed the plastic container belonged to his grandma. The 19-year-old man was charged in October when cops uncovered the sealed-for-freshness weed during a traffic stop. Police were able to smell the drugs coming from the Taurus. “It’s my grandma’s,” the Oak Lawn man told cops. “She keeps spices in it.” However, he backed up his granny by denying she smoked marijuana.

5) WHAT WOULD DAVE DO? A dissatisfied fast-food fan dove through a drive-thru window in a dispute over $7 in change. The 26-year-old Harvey woman was accused of slapping the hand of a Wendy’s employee in Oak Forest. Things got out of hand when the employee allegedly claimed the woman was being rude after asking for a refund.

6) THE CANDY MAN CAPER: A burglar with a weight problem pulled off a heist Willy Wonka could be proud of. Thousands of dollars in chocolate mints were stolen from an Oak Lawn candy shop. A witness told cops a 5-foot-9-inch man who weighed 250 pounds was throwing boxes of candy into a van during the night. The greedy thief only left five boxes behind.

7) THE VOICE: The world’s worst impressionist apparently tried to rob a Tinley Park home. The burglar tried to fake the homeowner’s son’s voice while hiding in the boy’s room. Not buying it, the dad walked in to find the would-be criminal, who claimed he had thought he was in his “girl’s place.” Later, the victim discovered his son’s iPod was missing.

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